Who cares if the toilet seat is up?!
Sure, you complain about the toilet set being up, but have you seen how the rest of the bathroom looks!
Men
I would like to identify your body.
While laying in bed with my husband, he asked me what I’d most like to do with his body. Apparently “Identify it” wasn’t the right answer. Some men are so picky.
Wine is to Women as Duct Tape is to Men
Wine can fix everything! Doesn’t matter what it is or how bad it’s messed up, just add wine and *poof* problem solved.
I may never look at breakfast the same again.
Are you eggs or sausage? Do you prefer eggs or sausage? This is wrong in so many ways, yet correct and funny.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
It’s the best thing she ever did for me.
Admit It, You Love Him For His Man Parts
Lets not go denying it, his man parts are pretty great. I bet even he thinks so.
What If Men Wrote Candy Hearts?
If men wrote candy hearts for Valentines Day they’d be so much more interesting. Can U Cook? Nice Jugs Get Me A Beer Bend Over Stop Talking Game On TV Don’t Call Me Your Mom’s Hot R U 18 You can feel the love can’t you?
If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.
Seems that when it’s cold out, and all you want is some more covers, your woman is stronger than the Incredible Hulk. Oh, and if you wake her, you’re in for a world of trouble. Don’t make Hulk mad.
Don’t forget about bald guys living vicariously through their beards.
Just cuz you ain’t got no hair up top doesn’t mean you can’t have hair down below.
5 Deadly Terms Used By A Woman
Fine – This sis the word used to end an argument when she knows she’s right & you need to shut up. Nothing – Means something & you need to be worried. Go Ahead – This is a dare, not permission. Do not do it. Whatever – It’s a woman’s way of saying screw you. … Read more