Happy Birthday! Someday we’ll nail you to something.
Remember that time when the three wise men came to the birth of Jesus and told him that the’d eventually be nailed to a pole or something. Then gave him myrrh. Good times.
A Christmas Carol… in 3 seconds.
Christmas Sucks! You suck! Yea Christmas! That’s the gist of the story. Not sure why we need a 2 hour movie, but when we add Muppets, that makes it much better.
Jesus, Let It Snow.
I don’t know who ever thought this was a good idea, or after seeing it, still keeps it up. Took me a while to figure out what it said which is why I wrote...
The Grinch never hated Christmas, he hated people.
Just so we’re clear, The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair. There’s a lot of idiots out there and I’m starting to see why The Grinch lived all alone...
Get into the Thanksgiving spirt by giving people the bird.
I’m really getting into the Thxgiving spirit, I’ve already given the. bird to lots of people. Seems I spread the Thanksgiving spirit every day in rush hour. Happy Thanksgiving 🖕
Run! Mariah Carey’s Christmas song is coming!
It happens every year and we can’t stop it! Soon “All I want for Christmas” will be in every store, TV, and radio. Won’t something think of the children!
I should have got the shot.
Sometimes, you realize a bit too late that you you’re making a bad decision. Take it from this skeleton, you really should get your shots. All of them.
Don’t be a dick this Halloween.
Keep your pitch forks to your self and just enjoy Halloween this year!
I did my own research at Facebook medical school.
There’s nothing more scary that people who believe what they read on Facebook.
One upon a time, there was a dragon…
Hero: Look the dragon is almost slain! Let us arm ourselves and end its reign of terror! People: Wait, what’s this armor made of? The court jester says it makes you magnetic…. I can’t...
