Water makes people stay hydrated. Coffee makes people stay awake. Tea makes people stay calm. Wine makes people.
What girls wouldn’t like horseshoes?! So stylish and they gotta be fast.
Safety pins forgot the safety part and now a little prick is on the way.
The Easter Bunny brings you candy and toys every year and yet doesn’t watch your kids while they’re sleeping or try to kiss your wife. Not like Santa.
Just because it’s an Easter basket doesn’t mean it needs to be full of candy. Try some cleaning products for the older kids.
Darth Tator. So tasty.
Hold on. One second. Just gotta finish this text.
Don’t drink and drive because there are people out there who text and drive and they will hit you and it will be your fault. I mean, you really shouldn’t need a good reason...
Merry Christmas from our messy, jolly, chaotic, shopping-half done, halls-half-decked, behind schedule, preferably imperfect, unorganized, maybe-next-year-we’ll-start-earlier, warm, happy house to yours.
This Christmas, if your cat brings you a present it’ll probably be a dead mouse or bird.