Get Your Shit Together
This speaks for itself. Get your shit together. Then take it somewhere and get rid of it. I don’t really care what you do, just get your shit togehter.
College is when reality starts to set in.
You’re cute, you’re amazing, you can do anything until you get to college. Then reality kicks in and it’s time to grow up. Let’s face it, you’re not special. If you want something, work...
Want a little pot from Colorado?
Ever wish you could get a little pot from Colorado? Well, now you can. You can order it on Amazon and get it shipped right to your door. Or to a friends door. Handy!
Grilled Cheese
There’s nothing worse than getting grilled for no good reason at all. There’s no reason right? Right! RIGHT!
So Connected. So Alone.
When you sleep alone, you sleep with the internet. I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty good sometimes. Try to sleep with kids and you’ll wish you were anywhere else.
And you think your Mom’s bad.
Bird Mom’s are the worst. You think your Mom’s not nice, at least she didn’t throw you out of a tree when you were a baby. via The Square Comics
Cat’s have 9 lives. You are not a cat. Buckle Up!
I love it when traffic departments get sassy with their road signs. Meow!
What’s for supper?
Hey Mom, what’s for supper? I’m making whatever the hell I want. Served with a side of eat it or starve. Sweetie.
Nothing Really Mattress & I Couldn’t Chair Less
Life is hard. Then you get old and you just don’t care anymore.
I’m single because I’m a superhero.
For all those that complain that they’re single and it sucks, the truth is that they’re a superhero. They’re all single, aren’t they? It just makes sense. Could you imagine if Spiderman was married?...
