Who cares if the toilet seat is up?!
Sure, you complain about the toilet set being up, but have you seen how the rest of the bathroom looks!
Women
I would like to identify your body.
While laying in bed with my husband, he asked me what I’d most like to do with his body. Apparently “Identify it” wasn’t the right answer. Some men are so picky.
Wine is to Women as Duct Tape is to Men
Wine can fix everything! Doesn’t matter what it is or how bad it’s messed up, just add wine and *poof* problem solved.
I may never look at breakfast the same again.
Are you eggs or sausage? Do you prefer eggs or sausage? This is wrong in so many ways, yet correct and funny.
When popcorn gets hot flashes, they get fat.
One day your body is smooth, sexy, and slim. But then comes a hot flash and BAM you’re twice the size, have wrinkles, and a bit bitter; or salty. Personally, I much prefer the larger sized popcorn. Much more enjoyable. via OffTheMark
Who’s a Girls Best Friend? Chocolate or Diamonds?
It’s a tough call, and you really can’t go wrong with diamonds or chocolate. Better yet why not go with both?!
If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.
Seems that when it’s cold out, and all you want is some more covers, your woman is stronger than the Incredible Hulk. Oh, and if you wake her, you’re in for a world of trouble. Don’t make Hulk mad.
Mario & Bowser: Frenemies
Mario spends most of his life saving the Princess from Bowser. In fact, he spend most of his early years doing just that; over and over again. But then Mario had a change of heart and invited Bowser to go gokarting, play golf and baseball. Seems they’re now frenemies.
Sometimes It’s OK To Throw Rocks At Girls
As long as it’s sparkly and you spent way to much money on it.
It’s National Boss’s Day, so fellas don’t forget to get your wife something nice.
Like it or not, she runs things. Might as well get her flowers. Just don’t tell her it’s because she’s bossy!