A relationshop is like a house.
… when a lightbulb burns out you do not go and buy a new house. You fix the lightbulb.
I walk 5 miles every day.
I named my dog 5 miles so I could tell people I walk 5 miles every day. Exercising thing is hard, that’s why I got smart and got a dog. 🙂
Sharks have been spotted in this pool. They come out when they smell pee.
This may not scare the kids too much, but no guy is going to want his ding-dong bitten off. Get out of the pool to pee or face the consequences.
I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.
We wouldn’t still be dealing with these blood suckers of Noah would have just taken care of business years ago.
I Love The 90s Smartphone Wallpaper
Who doesn’t love the 90s? Mario, the Fresh Prince, Pokemon, Urkel and so much more! You can even still get yourself some cool 90s swag.
Attention: Shit Could Be Worse
Lets face it, things could be worse. You could be dead! But you’re not. So lets look at the bright side.
You Are What You Eat. So Don’t Be Cheap, Easy or Fake.
Basically this is a good diet plan. Most things that aren’t good for you are cheap, easy or fake. Personally, I’d like to be hot, spicy and satisfying. 🙂
SCIENCE FACT: You have a lot of veins in your body.
If you took all of the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die. So don’t try.
You can lead a human to knowledge but you can’t make him think.
Man. Horses are so smart. And here all I think they did was run around and take people for rides. Maybe they are more than furry vehicles.
Stop Being Sad. Start Being Rad.
Don’t let life get you down. Don’t be sad, be rad. You’re a kick ass person. Just believe in yourself.