This Holiday season, get ready for things to get weird. Manger Things is a story like no other. Who’s dead? Who’s alive? How’s it going to end?!
Seems like if you go to church on Easter you can hear a pretty good zombie story with a lot less annoying bickering than the Walking Dead tv show. Seems legit.
Know how I know? Because they all told me within 2 minutes! Seems those things are something to brag about.
So many words in those pesky terms and conditions documents. What could possibly go wrong if you just agree and then do whatever you want?
If you think about it, it kinda makes sense. Zombies were one real people who rose from the dead. Vampires drink blood. It’s hard to ignore the facts.
Happens every holiday. You get so excited about stuffing your face, that you forget that someone is here that wants to say grace. I’m sure God will understand.
The devil isn’t exactly the best role model, but sometimes he doesn’t seem so bad. Like when he’s teaching your kids about evolution and psychology. It’s like he’s a Harvard professor.
If you get caught sleeping at work, just slowly raise your head and say “In Jesus’ Name I Pray.” Chances are, praying at work is OK where as sleeping at work is not.
When you run out of wrapping paper, just grab some birthday wrapping paper and add Jesus. Same thing.
There’s different sexual orientations, but none are as bad as the sexual atheist. These people don’t believe they’ll ever get laid. You gotta believe.