You’re so much fun that when we die, I hope we become ghost friends and scare the shit out of people together.
Everyone says I should go outside and enjoy the weather. But there are people out there. What if I don’t like them? What if I get bored? I like my internet and virtual friends....
Don’t let the haters get you down, your friends matter more. Especially if they bring wine.
Don’t be offended if someone doesn’t text you back. They probably just forgot. About you. In general. Because they don’t like you very much.
It’s more than a friendship, less than a relationship. You know, somewhere in the middle. Probably someplace awkward.
When I call you all drunk and what not in the middle of the night, it’s because I love you. I could have called anyone, but I choose you. That’s saying something.
We all know people who bring down the mood and make us unhappy. When they disappear, things get much nicer!
Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
There’s a fine science to the number of texts you need to pretend to be friendly before asking someone for a favor.
The number of friendly texts is in direct coloration to the task at hand. If you need help moving, it’s going to take a lot of texts.
That annoying moment when you just missed a call, and you immediately call that person back, but he’s doing the same, so you both get voicemail, and this happens 3 times in a row so you both decide...