Attention: Shit Could Be Worse
Lets face it, things could be worse. You could be dead! But you’re not. So lets look at the bright side.
Signs
Enjoy Your Ill Eagle Fireworks
I’m not sure if I’d buy fireworks from someplace called Ill Eagle. But then again, I bet they have some sweet inventory!
Have you see this bird?
I met this bird downtown by the tree near the post office. We chilled for like, five minutes & then without any warning he just flew away. We really hit it off so if you see him, please let him know hat I miss that crazy son of a bitch.
Free Pizza with Purchase of a House
Talk about a deal. Cooking that first meal in your new home is tough because either you haven’t unpacked or you’re to tired from unpacking. That’s where the free pizza comes in!
Shhhhhh. Be Quiet. Animals Are Napping.
I’m not sure how many times I’ve told people that the animal was just napping. Even if they know the truth, napping sounds way better than dead.
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness. NO WE WON’T
That’s what they say. But us men say “No we won’t!” Don’t try to tell us what to do. You can’t change us.
We’re Gonna Rock Down To … Well, Damn.
All I wanted to do was rock down to electric avenue and it’s closed. Now what are we doing to do?
I Read Recipes The Same Way I Read Science Fiction…
… I get to the end and think “Well that’s not going to happen.”
Children Are Often Spoiled Because No One Will Spank Grandma.
You may think it’s the parents fault, but sometimes it’s the grandparents.