Life is all fun and games until you find out your little M&M is a Skittle!
I’m sure he just looks like the mailman because we get a lot of mail.
Random Fun
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
I know a lot of people who do this well. However I don’t know if they’re doing it on purpose.
Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police.
Every night the deal goes down, and every morning I say F the police.
Things I like about coffee and things I like about you.
What do you know, sounds like a match made in heaven.
Dear NASA, Your mom thought I was big enough. Sincerely, Pluto
Some planets never give up. For the record, I’m on Pluto’s side.
How come every time I see you, your pants point at me?
I’m not sure if you’re saying ‘how you doin’ or if your pills from last night just haven’t warn off yet.