I love you like a fat kid loves cake.
Mmmm cake. With the frosting so sweet and the cake so moist. Good stuff!
Random Fun
When I die, will someone please come to my funeral dressed like the grim reaper?
Don’t say anything, just stand there. Ok, maybe you can give a high 5 or two.
iPod. I am your father!
Stupid dad. Always that lame old guy who can’t seem to keep up with the times.
Sometimes I sit and think about every stupid thing I’ve ever done all at once.
Then I go grab something to drink to erase those thoughts and pray that no one put them on YouTube.
Bicycles Must Yield To Pedestrians
Or else people are going to get run over and you might hurt your bike.
Why Worry? You don’t need to.
Worrying doesn’t help anything. Relax, take a deep breath and worry less.
I got you something long and hard for your birthday.
It’s math. Unless you’re ultra smart, then it’s trying to figure out why this is funny.
This is your kids on books!
Imagination is fueled by books and living without limits. Let kids run wild!
