Kids
Trick Or Treat You Little Shits
Most trick or treaters are fun and cute, but some are too old, didn’t put any creativity into their costume, or are just rude. For them, we say screw you!
Mom, what’s it like to have the worlds greatest daughter? Ask your Grandma.
When your daughter asks you about the worlds greatest daughter, just look at her and be honest. It’s her grandma she should be asking, not you.
Do you ever look at teachers and think “I could do that” and then remember you hate kids?
A teachers job seems nice some days. No school in the summer, all the holidays off and snow days. But you gotta remember that you need to deal with all those damn kids and they don’t let you hit them with a ruler anymore.
Dang Kids. Ruining a Perfectly Good Death Star.
It’s hard to get insurance on things when their condition isn’t perfect. That’s why your kids shouldn’t be running around with lightsabers making a mess of the place.
Coloring for Lazy People
Talk about easy, this could be the easiest coloring sheet ever. Just print it off and you’re done.
Some day we’ll catch that laser pointer. Someday.
Poor cats and kids. They keep chasing that red dot, but they never catch it.
One in four children will underachieve. Will it be yours? #batman
Some kids have what it takes to be Batman, others will only be Robin. Is your kid Batman?
Dad? Can I Borrow The Car?
And this is why you have kids. They’ll say the things you never should. Of course laughing along isn’t much better.
Children Are Often Spoiled Because No One Will Spank Grandma.
You may think it’s the parents fault, but sometimes it’s the grandparents.