Health Buzz Words Are Fun
Watch out for things that have healthy buzz words on them. Lots of things don’t contain gluten, sugar, fat, or calories, yet they will kill you if you eat them.
Here’s the key to my heart. Don’t kill me with it.
Giving someone the key to your heart is a big deal. Even bigger is what they do with it. Like when they use it to end you. Not cool. Not cool. via Nathan Bulmer
Why You No Take Me on Car Ride?
My owner goes on an 8 hour car ride 5 days a week but doesn’t take me? Why doesn’t he take me?! I’ll be a good dog. Promise.
What Do Flickering Lights Mean?
1% Chance Electrical Problem 99% Chance Demons and Shit I don’t know about you, but to me they mean get the hell out of the house. Or at least start cranking some showtunes or kids music. Ain’t nobody got killed when Bippity Boppity Boo was playing.
Coffee Makes Life Livable
Without coffee, how could we get any work done? How could we have meaningless office conversations? How could we stay awake in morning meetings? We need you coffee!
Welcome to life kid. You can’t win.
You remember when you lived at home and no matter what you wanted to do you seemed to piss off your parents? Well welcome to real life. Better start learning how to sweet talk people now.
All beds are dog beds.
It doesn’t matter how big your bed is, or how much you spend on an actual dog bed, they’re always going to come cuddle up with you and take up most of your bed.
What kind of Captain are you?
There are so many captions throughout history. Crunchy ones, patriotic, civilized, pirate, and of course wasted. Which one would you be? Sorry, we don’t have a lame quiz to share on Facebook. Feel free to share it if you’d like though. 🙂 via shirt.woot
Texting Truth: The poop icon makes you smile.
Everyone is texting and no matter how many emoticons you use, you only smile when you use poop. Ha! via cinismoilustrado.com
I sure could go for taco flavored yogurt.
Being healthy would be so much easier if things came in taco flavor. Or if I could just eat tacos and consider that healthy. I mean it is like a hand-held salad.