Teachers know you’re texting in class when you smile at your crotch.
I’m guessing that if you’re smiling at your crotch that there is a 99% chance that you’re texting in class. And that leaves a 1% chance that you’re a little odd.
Back to School Celebration Time
Good news parents, it’s time fort our kids to be back in school! Hit up the liquor store now for some celebration juice!
Live today like it’s your last; unless you’re doing something stupid.
You should always live today as if it’s your last. Well. Unless it’s not. In that case, be careful of what the future holds. You may have another 80 years. Play it a little safe.
The vending machine gave me the wrong kind of Kit-Kat.
Even though he may not be covered in chocolate, he’s a steel at the price. Who wants a Kitty Cat?
You can’t marry a man you just met. But, But, But
These Disney princesses think they can just marry some random guy. About time someone came in and set the record straight!
Can I fill the sink with coffee and dunk my head in?
I’ll then suck it all down and be totally buzzed all freakin’ day long! COFFEE!!!!!!!!!
Every mirror should have this warning sticker!
Reflections in this mirror may be distorted by socially constructed ideas of ‘beauty’ In other words, you look damn fine and don’t you forget it.
Spend less time bitching, more time enjoying.
It’s amazing how much time some people waste bitching about things that don’t matter.