F You Valentine’s Day Hearts
Not all hearts are created equal. Some just don’t give a shit. You can take all that lovey dovey stuff and cram it up your whoo hoo.
Love
When the zombie plague comes, I will love you enough to put you out of your brain-eating misery.
There are a million ways to say I love you, but this one speaks right to my heart. Oh wait, are you saying you’re going to kill me after I’ve already been bitten by a zombie? Why didn’t you protect me in the first place?!
Who wants free cuddles?
If you want free cuddles, go find your mom or dad. Do not go into this tunnel. Think twice, enter zero times.
Here’s the key to my heart. Don’t kill me with it.
Giving someone the key to your heart is a big deal. Even bigger is what they do with it. Like when they use it to end you. Not cool. Not cool. via Nathan Bulmer
If I didn’t drink, how would my friends know I love them at 2am?
When I call you all drunk and what not in the middle of the night, it’s because I love you. I could have called anyone, but I choose you. That’s saying something.
I have mixed drinks about feelings.
And the more drinks I have, the less I have feelings. It’s a win win.
Grumpy Cat Can’t See The Love, But Loves Fire.
So much love… for someone else. For me, I’m cold. So cold I started a fire. In your backyard. Feel the warmth yet?
Admit It, You Love Him For His Man Parts
Lets not go denying it, his man parts are pretty great. I bet even he thinks so.
Even Though You Have Selective Hearing, I Still Love You
Tell your special someone this Valentines Day that even though they’re not perfect, and you are, that you still love them. Roses are red Violets are blue Even though you have selective hearing I still love you