When I call you all drunk and what not in the middle of the night, it’s because I love you. I could have called anyone, but I choose you. That’s saying something.
Most bears are just so so bears. But some bears are not.
There are times to be calm and times to freak out. I think it’s about time we freaked out!
It’s the best thing she ever did for me.
Seems if I have a basement full of vodka I’m an alcoholic. However, if I have a basement full of wine I’m classy. Either way I’m drunk and broke so whatever.
Who needs Valentines Day when you have vodka?! It’s way more powerful than beer goggles and, if you drink too much, you’ll forget Valentines completely.
I feel like I’m a pretty smart cookie so won’t get tricked by this. But give me a drink or two and I’m sure this will sound like a fantastic deal!
Have you ever noticed that no one can get their keys in the lock when being chased by serial killers? I know there’s a lot of pressure, but come on. You can do better...
It’s always a hard decision to make, but there is a reason the alcohol business is always booming. Screw you real life, I’m going to go forget my problems now.
aka PARTY! Who’s in? It’s going to be a blast.