Cat’s have 9 lives. You are not a cat. Buckle Up!
I love it when traffic departments get sassy with their road signs. Meow!
What’s for supper?
Hey Mom, what’s for supper? I’m making whatever the hell I want. Served with a side of eat it or starve. Sweetie.
Nothing Really Mattress & I Couldn’t Chair Less
Life is hard. Then you get old and you just don’t care anymore.
I’m single because I’m a superhero.
For all those that complain that they’re single and it sucks, the truth is that they’re a superhero. They’re all single, aren’t they? It just makes sense. Could you imagine if Spiderman was married? “You going out again?” “You never stay home and cuddle anymore.” “Ewww, Grose. A spider. Kill it for me.”
Lyric sites ruin all the fun.
Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We use to have to sing it wrong for years until the truth destroyed us. Until then, it was ignorant bliss.
Dam It! Beavers have rights too.
What happens when you reach out to a land owner trying to accuse them of unauthorized activity that is natural? Well, you get a dam good response. Dear Mr. DeVries: It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of … Read more
Cat pretends to be human.
Look, I’m a hooman. Get off da counter, don’t eat mai fud, dur dur dur dur. Humans are so weird. They complain a lot and don’t like anything we cats do. That’s why they’re our pets.
Shit just got serious!
There’s always that moment when you realize that shit just got serious. Like when the big bad wolf is hiring the Kool-Aid man to break through the three pig’s brick house. Oh yea!
Having a bad day? This will help.
You can’t help but smile and feel a little bit happy with a cute baby lamb smiling back at you.
If I had super powers, I’d just mess with everyone.
Why would I use my powers for good, when I could just screw with everyone? I mean, they’d have a great story to tell their friends for the rest of their life. That’s like a gift right there. I’d be helping people without them even knowing it. Making them cooler in the eyes of their … Read more