Today’s Special: Buy Any 2 Drinks and Pay For Both!
I feel like I’m a pretty smart cookie so won’t get tricked by this. But give me a drink or two and I’m sure this will sound like a fantastic deal!
Signs
Dozens of Delicious Flavors and Three Shitty Ones
You gotta love truth in advertising. Sadly, I’m more interested in the three shitty ones than the dozens of delicious ones. What could they be? Are they that bad? Are we talking ice cream or coffee?!
Booze Food & Fun? Or Real Life?
It’s always a hard decision to make, but there is a reason the alcohol business is always booming. Screw you real life, I’m going to go forget my problems now.
Forecast for Tonight: Alcohol, Low Standards & Poor Decisions
aka PARTY! Who’s in? It’s going to be a blast.
Beware of Invisible Cows
Invisible cows are so hard to see. So are regular cows; at night. So lets just be careful out there on the roads. Cows could be anywhere!
Trespassers Will Be Eaten By Zombies
You’ll wish you were just shot and put out of your misery when a zombie starts gnawing on your arm.
Lane Closed for No Fuckin’ Reason
Don’t you just love road construction? Especially when the road is closed for no good reason? Jerks. Who do they think they are? Oh yea, the ones that make our roads. I guess I’ll wait.
I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.
We wouldn’t still be dealing with these blood suckers of Noah would have just taken care of business years ago.
Attention: Shit Could Be Worse
Lets face it, things could be worse. You could be dead! But you’re not. So lets look at the bright side.
Enjoy Your Ill Eagle Fireworks
I’m not sure if I’d buy fireworks from someplace called Ill Eagle. But then again, I bet they have some sweet inventory!