Fill your Easter basket with bunny poop.
I don’t think Easter candy is bunny poop, but you never know for sure. Either way, I’d shop at this store.
Signs
There may be trouble ahead. Get ready to face the music & dance.
You never know what lies ahead. There could be trouble, there could drama, there could be music and moonlight! Take control of the situation and dance. Trouble doesn’t define you, you define trouble.
It’s that time of the year when it’s good to be fat and jolly!
You should be happy all year-long, but Christmas time is especially great as fat and jolly is what it’s all about!
Before Coffee. After Coffee.
Some days, coffee doesn’t transform me into a happy, likable human being. Still, you wouldn’t want to see me without it.
Where do sandwiches even live?
See. This person gets it. Why go hunting when I don’t even know where sandwiches live? I don’t need to go track down something, kill it, clean it, cook it, and then make it into a sandwich when I could just go to the restaurant and get one.
Hiking Tip: Lost? Stay where you are because we don’t like you.
Just kidding! If you get lost, staying where you are increases your odds of being found. So don’t go wandering around. Just wait and we’ll come to you.
Put my grandma on speed dial. I call that Instagram!
Grandma’s on speed dial. That there is real life Instagram kids.
Your beer is not half empty, you’re half way to your next one.
If you believe this, you’ll drink more beer as you’ll never be on your last one.
Liquor and Fireworks. What could go wrong?
If you find yourself, or someone else, saying this, it’s a good time to go. Go anywhere else. Fireworks may seem fun and funny, but it hurts like hell.
Spider in your bed? Coffee can fix that.
I’m not sure if you need to burn down your whole house because you found a spider in your bed, but if you do, coffee is there for you.