If Mario is so super, then why do turtles kill him?
I love Mario, but it boggles my mind that he can break brick blocks with his head (actually hand), but turtles kill him. They’re just turtles man!
Random Fun
No hunting or camping in cemetery.
I’m not sure why there is a sign for this, or why they’d need a sign. A cemetery is the last place I’d go camping. Hunting for ghosts maybe, but probably not.
Friday Fun Day!
Congratulations. You made it to Friday! Now go out and have some fun. Don’t waste time as stupid Monday will be here before you know it.
What if life was prefect?
Wouldn’t life be prefect if sweatpants were sexy, Monday’s were fun, junk food didn’t make you fat, girl’s didn’t cause so much drama, guys weren’t so confusing, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow.
Ever had a pizza taco?
Part pizza, part taco, and a whole lot of awesome. Except that feeling you get after eating it. That’s regret.
I would like to identify your body.
While laying in bed with my husband, he asked me what I’d most like to do with his body. Apparently “Identify it” wasn’t the right answer. Some men are so picky.
Before Coffee. After Coffee.
Coffee is amazing. It can turn me from Grumpy Cat into Nyan Cat in just one cup. Ok, maybe two.
Dad, I’m glad you knocked up Mom.
If it wasn’t for you knocking up Mom, Fathers Day wouldn’t be as awesome as you wouldn’t have me.
Do not leave drinks unattended. Cat is an asshole.
Every cat owner understands this. Cats have something against drinks being in cups. If they see one, they’ll put it on the floor. Not sure why, but I guess they just like to free drinks.
Sometimes I Feel Unstoppable!
You may not have all the things you need to be awesome, but you can find tools to get you there! Think positive and anything is possible.