Great news! We’re all getting laid!!!!!
Sure, it sounds like a good time but bricks only get laid once. Then it’s all over forever.
Sex
Food has replaced sex in my life.
Now I can’t even get into my own pants. However I’m getting some every day; multiple times in fact. Different styles too.
And this is how you receive lots of tips.
Just put the tip in, see how it feels. I bet customers won’t be able to resist.
Dad, I’m glad you knocked up Mom.
If it wasn’t for you knocking up Mom, Fathers Day wouldn’t be as awesome as you wouldn’t have me.
Even zombies don’t love her for her brains.
Smart pretty girls have it so hard. They can’t meet a decent guy who will love them for their brains. Even zombies get distracted. via Jim Benton
Who needs a man? Chocolate can’t get you pregnant.
No date? No worries. Just snuggle up with some chocolate. That way you don’t have to worry about getting pregnant; or a call the next day. It’s much more satisfying.
Give Her Something Long and Hard That Will Really Make Her Moan. #SFW
That’s right. This Valentines Day get your sweetie a mop! Nothing says I Love You like a little hard work; done by someone else.
How Babies Will Be Born In The Future
With technology advancing at light speed, soon our computers and a 3D printer will be able to print out babies! Sadly, it’s not that far-fetched.
In Case of Miracle, Break Glass
You don’t always get lucky, but when you do, it’s good to have a condom around. Even if it’s framed and you have to break the glass to get to it. Miracles happen.
Why Was 6 Afraid of 7? Because 7 Is a Registered 6 Offender
Forget that 7 8 9 but now 7 is a registered 6 offender. 7 is just out of control.