You Turn Dick On To Help You Through The Night
Happy New Year!! I believe that’s called a Freudian Slip Oprah.
New Years Resolution: Lose weight or get a bigger basket.
Sometimes, all you need is a bigger basket. It’s all in how you look at it. Don’t assume that there is only one option.
New Years Resolutions are a todo list for the first week of January.
And if you don’t get them done, just forget about them and try again next year.
Super New Years Resolutions
Even super heros think they’ll follow through on their New Years Resolutions. However, they’ll fail too.
I’m done with the ladies. I’m all yours now, alcohol.
Life’s complicated. It doesn’t matter which path you choose.
Get into bed and I’ll text you a story.
Parenting today is way different then when I was younger. My parents still don’t even understand technology! If I sent them a text, they’d call me to ask me what do to with it.
Merry Christmas! Wolf Wolf Wolf. Meow.
Happy Holidays to you and yours. Hopefully you’ve dressed up your pets in some ridiculously cute Christmas outfits this year! You know they love it!
Silent Night – Mostly – Cute Pet Edition
All is calm, all is bright and sometimes that in itself is a miracle. Unless your pets are the ones that get in trouble when no one is looking. Then it’s quiet, too quiet.
Happy make your kids into greedy little materialistic consumption addicts day.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, Feliz Navidad and so much more!