If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.
Remember this if you ever get attacked by a mob of clowns. Course, if clowns attack you I wonder what you did to piss them off. Usually they’re pretty happy going.
Signs
No hunting or camping in cemetery.
I’m not sure why there is a sign for this, or why they’d need a sign. A cemetery is the last place I’d go camping. Hunting for ghosts maybe, but probably not.
Do not leave drinks unattended. Cat is an asshole.
Every cat owner understands this. Cats have something against drinks being in cups. If they see one, they’ll put it on the floor. Not sure why, but I guess they just like to free drinks.
Your Wife is Hot!
Now is a good time to get that AC fixed. And remember, when mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
Then I put my left foot in, then out, then it got complicated and I spun myself around till I fell down.
Health Buzz Words Are Fun
Watch out for things that have healthy buzz words on them. Lots of things don’t contain gluten, sugar, fat, or calories, yet they will kill you if you eat them.
If I didn’t drink, how would my friends know I love them at 2am?
When I call you all drunk and what not in the middle of the night, it’s because I love you. I could have called anyone, but I choose you. That’s saying something.
Have you seen this lost dog?
His name is Vince. He’s kind of a grayish brown color. Loves to roll over and likes opening gateways to other dimensions. If you see him, who you gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS!