I put the STD in STUD. Now all I need is U.
If you ever fall for this pick-up line then you probably deserve him.
Love
We have beer as cold as your ex-girlfriends heart.
And in this scenario, cold is good. Mmm so good. Enjoy this for a little while and you’ll forget all about her and possibly find someone new. Someone who cares for you, lets you watch football and buys you beer. It could happen.
12 Days of Effing Christmas
The 12 days of Christmas may be a classic song, but it’s a little out of date. It’s more like: 12. Effing Fruitcakes 11. Shoppers Shoving 10. Credit Cards All Maxed 9. Broken Diets 8. Hours Delay 7. Tacky Sweaters 6. Checks A-Bouncing 5. Extra Pounds 4. Bags A-Missing 3. Missed Flights 2. Panic Attacks … Read more
All I want for Christmas is money!
I’m not looking for love, I’m looking for money! Why doesn’t anyone write a song about that?
Relationship Status: It’s Complicated.
Sometimes in life, you know exactly what you want, but it’s a bit complicated. No matter how many times you level up, you’re going to be just out of reach. But keep playing.
I like you more than free WIFI.
There are good things in life, and then there is you. You kinda rock.
Gay marriage is a black and white issue.
We’ve been here before. Lets learn from our past. Vote against anyone trying to limit who can marry whom.
I’d swim the ocean for you… jk, there are sharks in there.
I’d do almost anything for you, unless it involves putting me in danger. Then I may have to reconsider.
When the zombie apocalypse happens, will you be my zombie killing partner?
This is a much better proposal that ‘will you merry me.’ That’s so boring and this ensures that they are by your side in good times and bad.
Once Upon A Time A Prince Got Turned Down
Talk about living happily ever after. Lots of money, racing cars, rock concerts and being as cool as hell!