When you ride alone, you ride with Hitler.
Isn’t it about time you joined a car pool and stopped killing the earth?
Manly Handheld Fireworks
Sure, it may make you look like a man, but there’s nothing cool about blowing off your man parts.
Good Luck On Your Weekend Project
And just remember, if you need any help, the Home Depot can help you with all sorts of crap.
No Matter How Slow You Go You’re Still Ahead Of Everyone On The Couch
True dat. But the couch is so comfy and it has my chips.
Facebook Is Like Jail
You sit around, waste time, have a profile picture, write on walls and get poked by guys you don’t really know.
Good Morning. I See My Assassin Has Failed.
Usually when I whack someone, they don’t show up online the next day. Something must have gone wrong. Ohh well. How are you today?
Nude Sunbathers Eating Waffles?!
I think this might be the perfect vacation spot. No pants and waffles for breakfast. What’s better than that?
When I’m Sad I Just Sing
When I’m sad I just sing, and then I realize my voice is worse than my problems.