New Road. Yea! Same Speed Limit. OK. Drive it or we’ll put the potholes back. Yikes!
I’m not sure what this 5 AM thing is and I certainly don’t want to be running. Some people are crazy. via Chris Hardning
It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible but 8 beers and 7 shots go down like a fat kid on a seesaw. It’s sad but true.
Want to get smarter? Eat some brains! They’re a good source of energy and who couldn’t use some more brains? If you want this on a t-shirt, you can grab one here.
The fact there’s a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven should tell you something about the anticipated traffic. What path are you on?
… don’t fall for an idiot to forces you to be normal. There is nothing worse than losing your weirdness.
Who do you vote for when no one seems like a good choice? Well, maybe Nobody. He seems to say all the right things. Nobody will keep election promises. Nobody will listen to your...
What if we rearranged the United States, but kept the basic US shape? It’d look something like this. Kind of mind-blowing isn’t it? Still looks like the US, but every state is someplace new.
No Hipsters! Don’t be coming in here with your hairy faces, your vegan diets, your tiny feet, and your sawdust bedding. No, wait. Hamsters. No Hamsters.
Next time you see someone texting and driving, just say “Oh Cell No!” Not only is the pun amazing, but they’ll never forget it. It’ll stick around in their head like a bad pop song.