Dear Gary, I Feel Dirty, Please Do Me. Love the Dishes
Something make me think the dishes have an ulterior motive. I mean, what am I going to get out of this?
Sex
I’m a Sexual Atheist. I Believe I’ll Never Get Laid.
There’s different sexual orientations, but none are as bad as the sexual atheist. These people don’t believe they’ll ever get laid. You gotta believe.
Checkout my breadsticks and nuts.
If you think my breadstick is big, why don’t you come back to my place and see my nuts.
Context. It’s Important. It can be the difference between sex and marshmallows.
Have you ever heard only part of the conversation? Of course you have. It happens all the time; especially in movies. Before you fly off the handle, get all the details. Context is important. It can be the difference between sex and marshmallows.
A Well-Tailored Suit Is To Women What Lingerie Is To Men
So if you want to get lucky, get a nice suit.
The Local Swingers Club Was a Little Disappointing
When I heard about the local swingers club, I was pretty interested. Turns out, it’s not quite what I thought it was. However, swings are fun. Hold my drink. Weeeeee. via minimumble.com
Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant.
I guess you better be careful out there. You never know what might happen!
No date for Valentine’s Day? How about porn?
Who loves you more than yourself? Might as well treat yourself this Valentine’s Day.
I want to nail you this Valentine’s Day.
Not sure if we’re building a bench or a baby, but as long as I’m with you, I’ll be happy.
A night of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness.
Something tells me that this statement might not be true. I can think of a lot of things that I’d rather not do and spend my night alone. But then again, maybe I’m the odd one.