Mothers Day
The Woman Cleaned Your Butt! Get Her Something Nice for Mother’s Day.
Mom has done a lot of things for you over the years and she’ll keep doing them. Give her something nice and thank her for cleaning up your poop when you were a baby.
Everyone Needs Mom. Dad, Not So Much.
This Mother’s Day, remember all the things Mom does for us. Like everything.
Happy Cinco De Mayo!
Let’s interrupt a week of unbridled American patriotism for a half-assed celebration of Mexico. Now lets all go party with some nachos, tequila and some Taco Bell. What could go wrong with that combination? And no, you can’t count a phone call to your mom to bail you out of jail as a Mother’s Day call.
Don’t forget to buy a bottle of wine for Mothers Day.
Remember, you’re the reason she drinks. It’s true, parents keep liquor stores in business.