How to tell when your cat is crazy.
Cats have three moods; hungry, needy and crazy. If they’re not one of them, then they are probably asleep.
Like A Boss
Facebook is like a boss. They sit around making all the money while you do all the work keeping them in business.
Hogwarts Shire Jedi
I never received my acceptance letter to Hogwarts so I’m leaving the Shire to become a Jedi.
I’m not insane, I’m mentally hilarious.
You say insane, I say hilarious. Tomato Tomahto. You say potato, I say chip.
A banana with a hat. How awesome is that?!
You can play with your food all you want, but when it turns out this cool, you gotta share.
I love you like a fat kid loves cake.
Mmmm cake. With the frosting so sweet and the cake so moist. Good stuff!
When I die, will someone please come to my funeral dressed like the grim reaper?
Don’t say anything, just stand there. Ok, maybe you can give a high 5 or two.
iPod. I am your father!
Stupid dad. Always that lame old guy who can’t seem to keep up with the times.
Sometimes I sit and think about every stupid thing I’ve ever done all at once.
Then I go grab something to drink to erase those thoughts and pray that no one put them on YouTube.
