Snow Monster Ate My Car
If you get lots of snow, let your creativity go crazy. Like creating snow monsters that are eating cars. Rawwwwwr! This beats out most snowmen.
Random Fun
Sorry. WI-FI is out. Gonna have to talk to people.
Nothing worse than going to a bar and having to talk to people right?! I mean, how interesting can they be when they have nothing better to do than hang out in a bar? I need a drink. A stiff drink.
Creepy Icicle Hand
Just when you think winter can’t get any worse, you see a creepy frozen icicle hand outside your window. Yep, it’s time to move.
Food has replaced sex in my life.
Now I can’t even get into my own pants. However I’m getting some every day; multiple times in fact. Different styles too.
You’re so close to your goals. They’re just on the other side of the Internet.
Admit it, you’d get a lot more done if the Internet didn’t distract you every day. I mean we’re just going about our day and then next thing you know it’s Facebook, Twitter, Spotify, YouTube, Email, Amazon, eBay, random cat site, midnight. Crap! I’ll get productive tomorrow.
Pizza understands. Pizza is here for you.
Good day? Bad day? Things going wrong? Things going right? Pizza doesn’t care. Pizza is here for you in good times and bad. Pizza loves you no matter what.
Get lost in nature and you’ll probably die.
The world is full of good quotes, but it’s also filled with ones that bring false hope and could quite possibly kill you. Like this one. Some people can survive in nature, you’ll probably die.
Gangsta’s Don’t Use The Cloud, They Use Floppy Disks
The cloud is for fools. Why put your files in this magic cloud thing when you can just put them on floppies and put them in your pocket? This makes file transfer easy and it also makes destroying the data easy. As far as security goes, we got that covered too.
This Banana is Appealing
He looks so good in his little top hat and mustache. He looks good enough to eat actually. Mmmm fancy banana.
Watch Out For Ice – Walk Like a Penguin
It’s winter, it’s cold, and there is ice in unexpected places. Don’t end up on your rear, walk like a penguin. Ice walking tip via Tablet Graphics.