Alcohol Makes For A Great Story
Chances are if there was alcohol involved, someone did something stupid. If someone did something stupid, it will probably make a good movie. If there was salad involved, no one cares.
The most vulgar character of all time.
The beeped out every single word he said. And he was on the good side!
If zombies chase us, I’m tripping you.
I like you, I think you’re cool, but I’m not so sure I’m ready to die.
Facebook, please. I’m trying to work.
Why is it that when we’re trying to get something done, Facebook is nagging us and taking our focus away.
Woodchuck Chuck Norris
How much wood would a woodchuck Chuck Norris chuck if a woodchuck Chuck Norris could chuck wood?
The thing about smart people is that they seem like crazy people to dumb people.
Are you a smart, crazy or dumb one?
If your dog doesn’t like someone, maybe you shouldn’t either.
Dogs are a good judge of character and maybe you should listen to them. If they growl at a stranger, maybe you shouldn’t date them.
Like a movie star, I slide across your car hood.
I think this would be fun to do on a daily basis. That is unless I fell off the other side. No, wait, still fun.