You know how we trace our hand to make a turkey? Well, they can trace their feathers and make a person. Dang!! via speedbump
You get what you pay for right? If so, this $123k turkey better be amazing! This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful I don’t have to buy this turkey.
Holiday icons have it hard. Not only do they have standards and traditions to live up to, but some die every year. via Bizarro.com
May your stuffing be tasty. May your turkey be plump. May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving...
Thanksgiving is a lot like Christmas except you don’t get presents for holding in your family rage. It’s just a lot of food, family, and drama.
Christmas can try to takeover Thanksgiving, but you’ll never take our turkey, pie, and football!
Just think… If the Indians had given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey, we’d all be getting a piece of ass this Thanksgiving!
This Thanksgiving, when the directions say to let the bird chill, just prop it up and give it a beer. It’ll be happy before you toss it in sauna.
This Thanksgiving, decorate your toilet with a turkey. Then your guests can come feed and water your turkey. Or you can be thankful that you don’t have a turkey toilet in your house.
Here’s Hoping Your Turkey is Moist Here’s Hoping Your Relatives Are Sober Here’s Hoping Your Ass Fits in Your Velvet Pants Or Sweat Pants Better Yet No Pants Here’s Hoping Your Thanksgiving is Sane...