Anybody Have Plans To Stare At Their Phone Somewhere Exciting This Weekend?
Not like it matters. My phone looks awesome no matter where I am.
Signs
You should really do that thing you said you’d do.
You should do what you said you were going to do that one time before you got all tired and then got super busy and pretty much forgot… you really should.
An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfitter walk into a bar…
Know how I know? Because they all told me within 2 minutes! Seems those things are something to brag about.
Did you read Apples Terms and Conditions? Neither did Adam and Eve.
So many words in those pesky terms and conditions documents. What could possibly go wrong if you just agree and then do whatever you want?
Come in for drinks. Keep walking and then what? Bears!?
Either stop in for drinks or keep walking and risk it all. What’s further down the street? Who knows, maybe bears, or a mugger, or real life! Better not chance it.
Baby on Board. Literally.
Ever see a car with a baby on board sign? How about one with an actual baby on a board?!
Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, Vodka Is Cheaper, Than a Dinner for Two.
I’m also willing to bet a bottle of vodka will be a lot more fun to finish than a dinner for too. Except for the next day, that’ll be hell. And I’m not saying you have to be alone. Get tipsy and make bad choices. You never know, it could be amazing.
Sorry. WI-FI is out. Gonna have to talk to people.
Nothing worse than going to a bar and having to talk to people right?! I mean, how interesting can they be when they have nothing better to do than hang out in a bar? I need a drink. A stiff drink.