Siblings at Christmas
Siblings suck sometimes. Your brother’s Christmas Wish was for you to not get a Christmas Wish. I’m sorry, Sweetheart, but he was here first and that’s how this works. Santa
Christmas
How To Hang Christmas Lights
Hanging Christmas lights is easy. First, start out with lots of Christmas spirit and enthusiasm. Then, you make some progress, and your spirits get higher. Then your spirits start to fall as it seems like you’re making it worse. Then, you’re all excited because you’ve successfully got everything hung up; success! And then your spirits … Read more
Dads: Turn off the lights. Also…
Dads spend all year worrying about that one light you left on. It’s wasting energy and costing us money! Then, come Christmas, they light up the whole damn yard.
Happy Birthday! Someday we’ll nail you to something.
Remember that time when the three wise men came to the birth of Jesus and told him that the’d eventually be nailed to a pole or something. Then gave him myrrh. Good times.
A Christmas Carol… in 3 seconds.
Christmas Sucks! You suck! Yea Christmas! That’s the gist of the story. Not sure why we need a 2 hour movie, but when we add Muppets, that makes it much better.
Jesus, Let It Snow.
I don’t know who ever thought this was a good idea, or after seeing it, still keeps it up. Took me a while to figure out what it said which is why I wrote it out for you.
The Grinch never hated Christmas, he hated people.
Just so we’re clear, The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair. There’s a lot of idiots out there and I’m starting to see why The Grinch lived all alone with his dog. That guy was ahead of his time.
Run! Mariah Carey’s Christmas song is coming!
It happens every year and we can’t stop it! Soon “All I want for Christmas” will be in every store, TV, and radio. Won’t something think of the children!
How to wrap a present; easily.
Wrapping birthday or Christmas presents is actually pretty easy once you know how. Basically, get some wrapping paper, then a gift box, then throw out the wrapping paper, get a gift bag, and put your gift in there. Gift bags are the best.