Every December, society asks us to sing The 12 Days of Christmas with a smile. If you actually pay attention to the lyrics, it stops sounding like a festive love song and starts reading like chaotic hell. This is not romance. Let’s take a closer look. Day 1: A Partridge in a Pear Tree The … Read more
Somewhere between Roblox, YouTube Shorts, and whatever nonsense trend hit this week, our kids have decided that the number 67 is now peak comedy. Unfortunately (or fortunately), Santa Claus does not agree. According to very reliable sources (an Elf on the Shelf with questionable loyalty), Santa is officially done with “67”. If he hears it … Read more
Siblings suck sometimes. Your brother’s Christmas Wish was for you to not get a Christmas Wish. I’m sorry, Sweetheart, but he was here first and that’s how this works. Santa
Hanging Christmas lights is easy. First, start out with lots of Christmas spirit and enthusiasm. Then, you make some progress, and your spirits get higher. Then your spirits start to fall as it seems like you’re making it worse. Then, you’re all excited because you’ve successfully got everything hung up; success! And then your spirits … Read more
Dads spend all year worrying about that one light you left on. It’s wasting energy and costing us money! Then, come Christmas, they light up the whole damn yard.
Remember that time when the three wise men came to the birth of Jesus and told him that the’d eventually be nailed to a pole or something. Then gave him myrrh. Good times.
Christmas Sucks! You suck! Yea Christmas! That’s the gist of the story. Not sure why we need a 2 hour movie, but when we add Muppets, that makes it much better.
I don’t know who ever thought this was a good idea, or after seeing it, still keeps it up. Took me a while to figure out what it said which is why I wrote it out for you.
Just so we’re clear, The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair. There’s a lot of idiots out there and I’m starting to see why The Grinch lived all alone with his dog. That guy was ahead of his time.
