I never said I hated you.
It’s just that you’re on fire, and I have marshmallows and a long stick. Just give me a minute and then we’ll talk. It’s not all about you ya know!
Food
Can I get you anything? Drinks? A snack maybe?
You know that refrigerator is always calling your name. Ready to give you some sort of snack at any moment. It’s like your best friend and worst enemy.
Freaky! Put a head, in a jar, in the fridge.
April Fools may only come once a year, but this prank is good anytime. It’s absolutely freaking scary and yet safe and cheap.
Lets face it. Anything with raisins in it would be ten times better with chocolate chips instead.
Would you rather have a box or raisins or a bag of chocolate chips? What about raisin cookies? Raisin bran? Raisin pancakes?! There are so many things that chocolate chips can do better.
Hot Damn. It’s Cake!
It’s always a good time when you have cake. It’s great at parties, work events, or even just at home by yourself. Who wants some cake?!
Hope you like my new cupcake recipe. They’re called shut the fucupcakes.
They’re cute, they’re yummy and if you take one, I don’t want to hear another peep out of you. Shut your cupcake hole!
When popcorn gets hot flashes, they get fat.
One day your body is smooth, sexy, and slim. But then comes a hot flash and BAM you’re twice the size, have wrinkles, and a bit bitter; or salty. Personally, I much prefer the larger sized popcorn. Much more enjoyable. via OffTheMark