Everything scares me, but I’ll do it anyway.
And when I do it, I may be slow, or crying, but that still counts. Every try counts. via Sugar & Sloth
Don’t eat anything off the ground, unless it’s Easter.
Parents: What are you doing? We do not eat things we found on the ground. Parents on Easter: Come on kids, let’s go out and search in the dirt for candy strangers left for...
Next time I’m at the dentist I’m going to ask for caramel filling.
Granted, I’m not made of chocolate though. If I was, I’d probably eat myself. via cartoonstock.com
Easter with Dad
Nothing says Easter quite like some good dad jokes about chocolate bunnies and nailing the crucifixion. via Jim Benton
Coffee spelled backwards is …
Coffee spelled backwards is EEFFOC. Just know that I don’t give an EFFOC until I’ve had my coffee.
Happy Birthday! Someday we’ll nail you to something.
Remember that time when the three wise men came to the birth of Jesus and told him that the’d eventually be nailed to a pole or something. Then gave him myrrh. Good times.
A Christmas Carol… in 3 seconds.
Christmas Sucks! You suck! Yea Christmas! That’s the gist of the story. Not sure why we need a 2 hour movie, but when we add Muppets, that makes it much better.
Jesus, Let It Snow.
I don’t know who ever thought this was a good idea, or after seeing it, still keeps it up. Took me a while to figure out what it said which is why I wrote...
The Grinch never hated Christmas, he hated people.
Just so we’re clear, The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair. There’s a lot of idiots out there and I’m starting to see why The Grinch lived all alone...
Get into the Thanksgiving spirt by giving people the bird.
I’m really getting into the Thxgiving spirit, I’ve already given the. bird to lots of people. Seems I spread the Thanksgiving spirit every day in rush hour. Happy Thanksgiving 🖕
