Updated New Years Resolutions!
Some things change over the years, but mostly they just stay the same. This year is going to be different though. Maybe.
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Updated New Years Resolutions!
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Don't Be Racist, Be Like Mario...
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So glad you're home, someone pooped in the hallway.
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Zombie Hooters Girls
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I Love You With All My Butt
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What Happens To Popcorn When It's Hot Outside?
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Cheating Death. High 5!
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I love you this much.
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Amazing Real Life Zombies!
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Tiny Real Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
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Old Computer Games Couldn’t Be Won. They Just Got Harder and Faster Until You Died. Just Like Real Life.
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I Read Recipes The Same Way I Read Science Fiction…
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Why don’t they put cats on a leash? Because owners want them to run away.
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Found a Dog. If It’s Yours, Don’t Call. We’re BFFs Now.
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That Guy Just Stole All Your Shit.
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Don’t Be Silly. There Is No Monster Under Your Bed.
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Alcohol won’t solve my problems, but neither will milk or orange juice.
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Even Big Dogs Like to Cuddle with You
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Time For Bed. Shut Up Brain!
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Children Are Often Spoiled Because No One Will Spank Grandma.
