Holiday icons have it hard. Not only do they have standards and traditions to live up to, but some die every year. via Bizarro.com
Monthly Archive: November 2014
Happens every holiday. You get so excited about stuffing your face, that you forget that someone is here that wants to say grace. I’m sure God will understand.
May your stuffing be tasty. May your turkey be plump. May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving...
Thanksgiving is a lot like Christmas except you don’t get presents for holding in your family rage. It’s just a lot of food, family, and drama.
Christmas can try to takeover Thanksgiving, but you’ll never take our turkey, pie, and football!
Just think… If the Indians had given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey, we’d all be getting a piece of ass this Thanksgiving!
This Thanksgiving, when the directions say to let the bird chill, just prop it up and give it a beer. It’ll be happy before you toss it in sauna.
The staff may be short, but that’s no reason to close down. Hire taller employees or let the shorter ones make tacos. I’m hungry!
Before Google, we didn’t know all the great random facts we do know. Instead, we actually watched TV and got shit done. Now we look it up on Google, then share it on Facebook, somehow...
I’m very happy and I think I may be the one for me. All I need is TV and a drink and I’m happy. What else is there?