LOL Zombie

Sometimes I aim to please,

But mostly I just shoot to kill.

What happened to the sweet old you?

 

I hate it when people ask me: What happened to the sweet old you? Well, bitches like you killed it.

Warning! Beer Goggles effect your vision.

I know you know already but as soon as you go out and have a few tonight, you’ll forget.

Have you ever looked at your ex and wondered if you were drunk the entire relationship?

OMG. Look at you! What did I ever see in you?

Do women have magnets in their heads?

Cheeeeeeese

Self-Defense Steps for Women

Need to defend yourself against a mugger? Just start talking about commitment. Most men will run the other way.

Watch out! She has PMS and GPS!

You can’t hide from her. She’ll find you anywhere!

It’s true. All the smart nice handsome men are gay.

Sorry women, you’ll need to settle with a man who is a little less than perfect.

*Not valid in all 50 states. Some exclusions may apply. See man for details even though he’ll probably just lie to get in your pants.

Men. Here’s a handy chart to talk to women.

The Hormone Guide is a simple guide for men that make talking to women easier. It’ll keep them happier which means you’ll be happier. Simply put, give them wine.

Women in traditional rolls.

Women can take on any roll. And they look darn tasty doing it.