Posts Tagged ‘Sex’

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Error – You are using Windows

23, Jan 2012

Sometimes, a simple error message is all you need.

Great. So if the problem reporter is freaking out, maybe I should too.

I knew it!

And the any key is where? Right. Under my damn hammer!

Ohh, so the computer gets to have all the fun.

But I can't hit restart without the mouse!

Not exactly how I pictured my first time.

So a butterfly can take down my OS? Someone close the windows!

I love you Windows. You're perfect. BFFs forever.

What? I thought the internet was safe sex.

We still don't care about anything but errors.

Your TV is lonely. Remember that thing? You use to love it in the 80s.

Check out this sex tape. It’s so not what you think.

11, Jan 2012

Practice safe lunch. Use a condiment.

28, Dec 2011

Practice safe lunch. Use a condiment.

You can’t be to careful these days.

Whenever you feel worthless remember that you were once the quickest.

11, Nov 2011

Whenever you feel worthless remember that you were once the quickest.

At one point and time you were the best of the best. Don’t you feel better yet?

Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-or-Treating is Better Than Sex

28, Oct 2011

Happy Happy Halloween10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go back at it again.

8. The stranger you look, the easier it is to get some.

7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave it to you.

6. Person you are with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else, you already are.

5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last nine months.

4. If you wear leather and chains, no one thinks you’re kinky.

3. Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2. Less guilt the next morning from over-indulging.

1. If you don’t get what you want at one place, you can always go next door to get more!

Don’t like it? Don’t do it?

23, Oct 2011

Don't like it? Don't do it?

Some things in life are simple so why are we making it so hard for others?

Congratulations on making a human with your genitals.

26, Sep 2011

Congratulations on making a human with your genitals.

I wish this card was at Halmark. – Buy this card.

Advice: Spooning leads to forking.

30, Jul 2011

Advice: Spooning leads to forking.

Go out, have a few drinks, get your groove on and have fun. Just remember, spooning leads to forking.

 

PSA: Don’t Have Phone Sex….

10, Jun 2011

PSA: Don't Have Phone Sex....

We preach because we like you and don’t want you getting nasty STDs.

Don’t Exit, Sex It Up

13, Apr 2011

Don't Exit, Sex It Up

It’s so much fun if you just add a few letters.


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