LOL Zombie

How come every time I see you, your pants point at me?

I’m not sure if you’re saying ‘how you doin’ or if your pills from last night just haven’t warn off yet.

Keep Out – Unless You Have Really Big Boobs

I wonder if big man boobs count.

Practice safe design, use a concept.

You can never be to safe on the web.

Error – You are using Windows

Sometimes, a simple error message is all you need.

Check out this sex tape. It’s so not what you think.

Practice safe lunch. Use a condiment.

You can’t be to careful these days.

Whenever you feel worthless remember that you were once the quickest.

At one point and time you were the best of the best. Don’t you feel better yet?

Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-or-Treating is Better Than Sex

10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go back at it again.

8. The stranger you look, the easier it is to get some.

7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave it to you.

6. Person you are with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else, you already are.

5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last nine months.

4. If you wear leather and chains, no one thinks you’re kinky.

3. Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2. Less guilt the next morning from over-indulging.

1. If you don’t get what you want at one place, you can always go next door to get more!

Don’t like it? Don’t do it?

Some things in life are simple so why are we making it so hard for others?

Congratulations on making a human with your genitals.

I wish this card was at Halmark. – Buy this card.