LOL Zombie

What happened to the sweet old you?

 

I hate it when people ask me: What happened to the sweet old you? Well, bitches like you killed it.

My magic watch says you don’t have underwear on.

You do? It must be 15 minutes fast. How you doin?

Have you ever looked at your ex and wondered if you were drunk the entire relationship?

OMG. Look at you! What did I ever see in you?

Self-Defense Steps for Women

Need to defend yourself against a mugger? Just start talking about commitment. Most men will run the other way.

It’s true. All the smart nice handsome men are gay.

Sorry women, you’ll need to settle with a man who is a little less than perfect.

*Not valid in all 50 states. Some exclusions may apply. See man for details even though he’ll probably just lie to get in your pants.

Men. Here’s a handy chart to talk to women.

The Hormone Guide is a simple guide for men that make talking to women easier. It’ll keep them happier which means you’ll be happier. Simply put, give them wine.

I mustache you a question.

Can eyebrows your computer?

Man Rule #329 – Don’t Talk About Bananas

Don’t look at him, don’t talk about them, don’t do anything that might come across wrong.

How Women See Colors vs Men

It isn’t all black and white, but the number of different shades is quite different.

Women 101 – Blame

Men, it’s easier to take blame than to argue a pointless point.