LOL Zombie

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo.

Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.

There’s a fine science to the number of texts you need to pretend to be friendly before asking someone for a favor.

The number of friendly texts is in direct coloration to the task at hand. If you need help moving, it’s going to take a lot of texts.

That annoying moment when you’re waiting for someone to call who’s waiting for you to call them.

That annoying moment when you just missed a call, and you immediately call that person back, but he’s doing the same, so you both get voicemail, and this happens 3 times in a row so you both decide to wait for the other to call so in the end nothing happens.

Any day can be a holiday.

All you need is some champagne and some friends. Party on!

When S and T Meet They Say Hi

It’s always a good idea to say Hi to people. You never know, you just may make someone’s day.

If you’re happy and you know it slap your friends.

Consider yourself slapped.

It’s hard to find a friend as good as me so don’t loose me.

Friends with Benefits

No no, not those kind. Perv.

Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.

This would be why some of my friends seem a little stupid.

Please neuter your pets and weird friends and relatives.

It’s for the good of all of us really.