Some good advice from the local liquor store. Sadly, I’m not sure if this is preventing people from drinking and playing with fireworks it, or giving them the idea.
When I call you all drunk and what not in the middle of the night, it’s because I love you. I could have called anyone, but I choose you. That’s saying something.
It’s the best thing she ever did for me.
I feel like I’m a pretty smart cookie so won’t get tricked by this. But give me a drink or two and I’m sure this will sound like a fantastic deal!
Have you ever noticed that no one can get their keys in the lock when being chased by serial killers? I know there’s a lot of pressure, but come on. You can do better...