If it’s unpleasant, then I’ll eat a cookie or have a glass of wine.

I’m sure this is where Adele got her inspiration from.

Something tells me their Google search won’t return the results they want.

Admit it, they’re the first ones you call. Then can shut nearly anything down.

Doesn’t matter what for, I’m kolafied.

Take a stand. Stand out. Be different.

It’s all fun and games and then Mike Tyson takes you down a notch. Mike, I  know a few people you should meet.

You never know what they’re hiding under that sleeve.

Oh I didn’t mean you. You’re cool.

Life isn’t always a fairy tail. Sometimes, things get out hand and you’re not the princess everyone thinks you are.

Remember, you’re the reason she drinks. It’s true, parents keep liquor stores in business.

But mostly I just shoot to kill.

Some days just feel like an epic fail. You think you have nowhere else to run, but you do. You can always turn around, or say F the police and go wherever you want!

Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Or are you just nosey and wonder what’s going on?

Legos may not look like much, it’s what your imagination comes up with that makes them awesome!

Consider yourself slapped.

Road signs aren’t telling you the whole story. There just a small piece of the puzzle.

Watch where you’re going or else the ninjas will get you.

Please take one, or two. We’ve got plenty for everyone.

Next time you see those lovely sticker families on the back of a mini van, just think, they could be lunch.