LOL Zombie

Shhhhhh. Be Quiet. Animals Are Napping.

I’m not sure how many times I’ve told people that the animal was just napping. Even if they know the truth, napping sounds way better than dead.

This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness. NO WE WON’T

That’s what they say. But us men say “No we won’t!” Don’t try to tell us what to do. You can’t change us.

Caffeine Powers Activate!

Believe it or not, coffee is a super power. Without coffee, I’m not good to be around. With coffee, I get shit done and I’m nice to talk to.

There is no good path to take when you come to a spork in the road.

Who doesn’t love sporks! Unless they’re in the road. Then what do you do? Why do sporks confuse people so? I guess we love them as long as we don’t have to deal with them.

Have you ever just looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead?

You know who I’m talking about. We all know someone like that.

People In Glass Houses Should Not Throw Stones…

… they should throw parties with strippers!

That Moment When You Talk to Yourself and Just Start Smiling Like an Idiot…

… because you’re just so hilarious. You know it happens.

Everyone Seems Normal Until You Get To Know Them

No one should be normal. Weird is where it’s at.

Donuts and Cats! Oh My!

Donuts and cats go together like peanut butter and Ritz crackers. Not sure what that means, but I do like the combinations.

Like Donuts? Get a Gigantic Donut Pool Floatie!

There is nothing like floating on a giant donut, in the pool, while eating a donut, on a nice summer day.

Doesn’t that sound nice?!

Buy your own Gigantic Donut Pool Float.