“We don’t touch your banana, so please don’t touch ours.”

Well then, I guess all I can do is agree. Unless you’re cute.

Talk about a full schedule. With Church, bingo and gay exorcisms, who has time for a pot-luck dinner?

Lets play a game and see what our vegetables look like. Broccoli looks like a big strong tree. The walnut looks like a smart brain. The mushroom looks unhappy and doesn’t want to play.

Every now and then, everyone wants a hug. And when you deny someone that hug, they get sad.

Poor cactus.

Some days, you just feel like the lone duck who stands apart and has to fend for himself. You’re not in the cool goth group so they just leave you behind. Jerks.

Frustration comes in many forms. Like how you can’t shoot the dog in Duck Hunt. You have a gun, the ducks don’t stand a change, but that damn dog that laughs at you is invincible? What the hell.

It’s also good to note that Darth wouldn’t trade his iPhone for anything. Now AT&T he’s not so attached to.

Not sure where to get one of these yet, but they look darn cool! A lot of work, but you get to walk on water!

I like to moove it moove it!

Life is to short
to wake up in the morning with regrets.
So live the people who treat you right,
forgive the ones who don’t (or forget about them)
and believe that everything
happens for  a reason.
If you get a chance, take it.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said that it’d be easy,
they just promised
it would be worth it.

Seems that vampires live forever, and so do Twinkies. Just think how many Edward eats in a lifetime. Heck, he could forget about one in his car for 200 years and it’d still be good when he remembered it was there.

Ohh, and just so you know, this is what Edward looks like. It’s that fancy computer editing stuff that slims him down for the big screen. Otherwise there would be no room for Bella.

If you ever get a mail order bride, always be sure to have it overnighted or have the sender poke air holes in the box. Otherwise it’s a mail order corpse.

I swear your mom and I are just Facebook friends. What else would we be?

What happens to pop corn when it’s hot outside? They tend to pop! And where it’s really funny to some, others are not so happy.

iPhones. Turning normal everyday average Joe’s into some sort of creepy little hobbit that want nothing more than their precious.

Which, of course, you can’t touch. And if you try and take it away he’ll freak out!

Mmm Denny’s. You know our drunk ass will end up there eventually.

The proof us undeniable. Chuck Norris was here.