LOL Zombie

Mmm Coffee. Grab Life By The Beans!

Grab yourself a handfull of beans and take control of your day.

So Much of My Day Is Just Keeping Myself Distracted Until It’s Time to Eat Food Again.

Who am I kidding? I eat all day. I mean, this bag of M&M’s isn’t going to finish itself.

via minimumble

What If I Never Find Out If I’m a Puppy or a Teddy Bear?

Poor little puppy. Or bear. Or bear puppy. Either way, you’re super cute.

A Magic Trick – via An Animated Gif

I’d be interested to see how many of you this works for and how many it doesn’t. It didn’t work for me, but thats because I did it wrong. Supposedly.

Old Computer Games Couldn’t Be Won. They Just Got Harder and Faster Until You Died. Just Like Real Life.

They were the best too. 2D, basic sounds and hours of endless fun!

I Read Recipes The Same Way I Read Science Fiction…

… I get to the end and think “Well that’s not going to happen.”

Why don’t they put cats on a leash? Because owners want them to run away.

Well so says the dog. Or maybe it’s because cat’s usually don’t wander away from home. They prefer the keeping their slaves owners close to them.

Found a Dog. If It’s Yours, Don’t Call. We’re BFFs Now.

I’m sorry you lost your dog, but he’s mine now and he’s pretty cool. We’re bros, so he’s staying. Don’t call, don’t make it weird.

That Guy Just Stole All Your Shit.

And he can keep it. That’s one job that makes me feel good about my job.

Don’t Be Silly. There Is No Monster Under Your Bed.

Poor cookie. He never saw it coming. Bet he was tasty though. Can you image a cookie that big? I’d need a giant glass of milk too. Mmmmm