Your e-Penis Must Be Huge
How many times have you gotten an email about Viagra? I mean we’re flooded by them every day; every hour. By now, our e-penises must be huge, not to mention we perform very well, and have a couple billion dollars from the Nigerian government.
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Today I will live in the moment. Unless the moment is unpleasant. 
A Dell. Rolling in the Deep 
Zombie Hooters Girls 
So glad you’re home, someone pooped in the hallway. 
Who do you call when you have a problem? Ctrl Alt Del 
Don’t Be Racist, Be Like Mario… 
Does marker come off a laptop screen? 
Don’t forget to buy a bottle of wine for Mothers Day. 
I love you this much. 
I wanted to send you something sexy…
